In a World Where I Don't Exist
by magnipisika16
Summary: You want to know the reason why I gave up? It's because I know I'm fighting a loosing battle. Even from the beginning… The only thing that was pushing me to hold on was you—or at least, the you from where I came from… You're feelings give me the courage to live, and now that I am in a world where those feelings were never cast, I don't see a reason why I should keep living..


**Hola, bananas! Did you miss me? Shoot, even I don't know the answer! But, hey, who cares right? **

**Just a reminder, this fic is a little long and a bit painful, so… I warned you well… Oh, and I have an announcement below, but it's not that significant, so, skip it if you like :)**

**This fic may as well be some sort of sequel to my fic "Moments"!**

**Enjoy!**

**-m16-**

She wished he never saved her. As she watched him suffer the curse that was rightfully hers with a plastered smile on his paling face, she wished that melancholic obstruction never happened. Everything from that time she wished to be just a dream, and when she opens her eyes again, it will all end.

Her wish came true.

Today, she woke up and found herself in what seemed like the same world, yet, she felt like it was different. It could be just her. Perhaps it was really just her. The drastic changes in her Arcobaleno body were really the deadliest giveaway.

She was an adult again. The constant pains in her body and the grueling scars were gone. It was like she was never cursed to begin with.

This should have been a glorious moment, really, for she was finally free, but a disturbing thought came; the thought of a suffering comrade stayed in her mind.

Where was Colonello?

Despite the surreal feeling from her newly-grown legs, she still stood up and ran the whole clearing, screaming for his name as she went. He wasn't anywhere near the vicinity, but, unconsciously, she was hoping.

He was here.

She knew he was here.

And, she was right.

"Colonello!" she cried almost too desperately and joyously as she ran across the meadow, disregarding the fact that said man's arms were no longer of an infant's. She clutched onto his shirt and tried her best to hold back the tears, not being able to hear the soft, astounded words as they escaped his lips.

"Who are you, kora?"

**-m16-**

"You seriously don't know who I am?"

The blond pursed his lips, slightly looked down, and carefully shook his head. Lal gave out a grieving sigh.

"Ah, I'm sorry, kora," he quickly pointed out. Lal didn't bother answering and just resorted to biting her lower lip to suppress the urge to scream. Utter confusion grasped her whole smallish being as she tried to stare into his eyes again.

There was no recognition in that stare. It was like staring into a pair of sapphire balls filled with dubiousness with a small hint of pity that devoured her with every single blink he made.

"How could you not . . .?" she mumbled, almost rhetorically.

"I don't know," he replied, although his tone seemed casual in a sense, as if he didn't care. "Have I met you from somewhere before, kora?"

Lal tried to open her mouth to speak, but, the slight confusion in his once brilliant sapphire eyes was making her nauseous. Was this man really Colonello? Most probably, he was. Aside from the fact that he does not wear anymore his silly headband and COMSUBIN uniform, nor does he still have that goofy and childish glint in his cerulean eyes, he was still essentially Colonello.

_Her _Colonello, if one may.

"Colonello, I . . ." Again, her voice trailed off. He tried to catch her gaze to make her feel less nervous, but, unfortunately, it only did otherwise. She swallowed hard and sighed.

Perhaps, she was wrong. Although she couldn't understand it herself, there was something in this slightly looming atmosphere that was telling her that what she was doing then and there was only making it worse.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and prepared to stand up. Her senses have finally kicked in, and now her instincts are telling her to examine the situation on her own, and in hell's way is she going to do that with an unrecognizing Colonello staring at her as if she was an idiot.

"I must be mistaken."

**-m16-**

First thing's first, find out where you are. Lal subtly journeyed her eyes around the city, and found a large sign that said: "Welcome to Naples".

That was easy.

So she was in Italy, which adds up to her hunch that she was in a different world. A different country, anyway. Still, that doesn't pretty much explain of Colonello's indifference of her.

Next step, find out where acquaintances are. Although, if Colonello could not remember her, then who's to say that there's someone out there who knows her? Perhaps one does, but, who could that be? Again, her cherry orbs moved around again, and tried to find somebody else who was familiar. All she could see was people who were on the run, not recognizing one another. As a matter of fact, no one seems to notice her rather unusual appearance.

"Hey, get your hands off of me!" Lal stopped in front of an alleyway, and gave a sidelong glance. She couldn't see anything since it was almost dark, but she knew she could hear noises. With a sigh and a shrug, she took a step sideward, and made her way to the source of the racket. It wasn't hard to find the source, nor was it surprising to see what it was. As expected, a bunch of guys were having a little "fun" with a young girl.

"Oh, come on, girlie, why so scared of us? We ain't going to hurt ya' . . ."

"Boss just wants to talk to you about them flowers you threw away just the other day."

"Oh, and what?" the girl sneered, scowling at the older boys. "He sent you to replace those flowers, huh? Tell your boss to not waste them and just run 'em up his ass, ara!"

Lal raised an eyebrow from where she stood, finding the girl a bit amusing . . . and quite familiar, like she have seen her before. There was something with those blue eyes that makes her feel connected.

"You know you've got some attitude, Blondie," one of the boys cried, tightening his hold on her wrist, making her wince. "Nobody wants that!"

"To hell do I care, ara!" she retorted, and the boys began to circle about her.

"What are you going to do now, little girl?" Lal mumbled, finding the scene a bit entertaining. The girl in question seemed to be thinking the same way as she stared at all of them, as if to count them. As soon as she was done, she raised her free hand and then sighed.

"All right, alright," she sighed. "I surrender . . ." She grabbed the boy's hand and tugged down. "You know . . . if my brother turns gay, ara!" She kneed the boy in the gut, and threw him against the wall. The other boys were too stunned, and she took that chance to run away. The boys, however, were quick to recover, and began to tail her, and they were catching up fast.

"Damn all of you," she muttered as she tried to quicken up her pace. Unfortunately, though, she couldn't see anything in the dark, and ended up hitting a wall. Lal now remembers who this girl reminds her of.

Looks like she needs to save the moronic little girl.

"Yo," she called out, and the boys turned to her. "Don't you think it's quite late for children to play tag?"

They didn't answer, but just stared at her. She raised an eyebrow at all of them, and gestured for them to spread out. That was where the juvenile delinquents woke from their dazes and strengthened their stances. Lal had to laugh if it weren't so pathetic.

"And, what are you people supposed to be?" she asked.

"Don't mess with us, woman," one answered. "We're from the Mafia!"

"Really? Which one?"

"That's none of your business!"

Lal sighed, and then walked near a trembling youth, and touched his shoulder.

"You're not going to tell me?"

"W-we're from the Vongola!" the youth shakily replied, making a small smirk form on the woman's face before she transformed it into a scowl.

"Wrong answer."

When the girl opened her eyes, she found her former enemies now sleeping next to her on the ground. She lifted her gaze and found the most amazing thing she could imagine seeing in her life. In front of her stood a figure, its eyes staring so intimately yet strikingly at her. Even though the moon was her only source of light, she could still see the marks on its white face, and the way its dark hair ruffle under the influence of the soft wind.

"Ara!" she suddenly exclaimed, as she pressed her hands against the ground in astonishment and slight admiration. The woman raised her brow at her, and she realized that she was staring at her the whole time. Immediately, she stood up straight.

"Ah, uh—T-thank you for saving me, Ma'm," she cried and then bowed furiously. The woman walked towards her—stepping on groaning bodies while she was at it—and then lifted her face to meet her crimson orbs.

"Who are you?" she suddenly asked. The blonde girl's eyes widened at her sudden throw of query, but, she still answered.

"E-Eza, ma'm," she replied.

"Eza . . ." Lal repeated. "Do you, by any chance, know someone of the name Colonello?"

"Co—?"

"Eza!"

The two ladies turned their heads and found a blinding light flashed upon them, and subsequently came a figure that appeared to be running towards them.

"Big brother!" Eza joyously cried and ran towards the arms of a blonde man who warmly received her in his loving arms. Lal had to slightly smile.

Now she knows why they look so alike.

"Eza," Colonello muttered, patting the little girl's head tenderly. "How are you? Did those cronies hurt you, kora?"

She shook her head.

"I'm fine, big brother," she replied. "Those jerks won't stand a chance against me anyway! I _am _your sister, remember?"

Colonello sighed, and gently hit her forehead with his finger. Eza giggled cutely.

"By the way, somebody saved me!"

He blinked at her, and she gestured behind her, and both Lal and Colonello, for the first time since the earlier first opened her eyes, locked such unconsciously friendly stares.

**-m16-**

"I realized I haven't introduced myself. I'm Lal Mirch."

"Lal Mirch?" Eza repeated with the same amused expression as Colonello gave when he first heard her name a long, long time ago. "Hot pepper, ara?"

"Huh?" Lal blinked.

"Eza," Colonello reprimanded gently. Then, he returned his gaze back at her.

"It's nice to finally get to know your name," he said. "You ran off so suddenly a while ago, I didn't get a chance to ask for it, nor the reason why you know my name, kora."

"Wait, so you two know each other?" Eza chimed in.

"I'm sorry about that, if that's the case," Lal mumbled, gripping the cup of untouched coffee tighter. "I was a bit confused a while ago, so I wasn't really sure of my current actions.

"Oh, that's fine," he reassured her with a smile. "I got used to girls hugging me from out of the blue ever since Eza was born so it's no trouble at all. As a matter of fact, I should be thanking you for saving my sister, kora."

She gave a feeble smile, and then looked down.

"Although, I should be asking you why you know me and why you acted . . . the way you acted a while ago, kora."

To his surprise, she gave out a sarcastic smirk.

"Trust me," she replied. "You wouldn't believe me if I tell you."

"Try us," Eza challenged. "My bet is that the things going on in my head are far more absurd than what you plan as an explanation, ara!"

Colonello sighed, and hit her head lightly with the side of his palm. Lal fought off a giggle.

"She's a lot like you, isn't she," she commented. Eza gave a cheerful smile while Colonello gave a knowing frown.

"There you go again, kora," he pointed out. Lal just stared at him, and then looked down.

"You talk as if you really _do _know me. Do you, kora?"

Lal gave a cold smile and a chuckle.

"Damn, how shall I put this?" she mused. "You and I know each other. We met in the military, and we became . . . well, not necessarily close, but, quite acquainted . . ."

"And . . .?"

"What do you mean 'and'?"

"You look like you want to say more, kora . . ."

"I'm sorry, but that's all I could say for now."

Colonello leaned forward and thought for a moment. She waited for some identification, but there was none. He still looked as confused as she first found him.

"So you two were close back then, ara?" Eza asked.

"Somewhat . . ."

The blonde girl stared up at her brother in a querying manner, and he returned with a shake of his head.

He doesn't know what she's talking about.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me," Lal sighed softly.

"It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that . . ."

"Name one thing you know about my brother," Eza suddenly asked. "One personal thing that he shared with you, and we'll know you're real, ara."

Lal raised an eyebrow.

"Well, kora?" Colonello pushed. "You can't think of anything?"

"Actually," Lal smiled. "I don't know where to start . . . Let's see . . ." She leaned back, and stared inward. "Your middle name is 'Leslei'. You don't like it when people stare at you funnily, and when you feel that they do, you get this urge to kick them in the face. Your favorite color is not really green—you just say that so people won't make fun of you. The truth is it is pink. You love the rain so much because of this little incident when you were a kid wherein there was a very sensitive family problem you had to go through. You said you loved how it always rains when you want to cry, and ever since then, you learned how to 'dance under the rain' . . ." Once more, they locked eyes with the same familiarity.

" . . . And, soon, you thought me how to do the exact same thing . . ."

Colonello blinked at her, and she forced a small smile before frowning again.

"Oh, and you have a birth mark in the shape of a butterfly on your . . ."

"Okay, that's enough, kora!" he cried.

"On his what?" Eza asked, looking at both of them expectantly. Colonello rolled his eyes, and playfully pushed her face away. Then, he faced her.

"How did you know all of those, kora?" he gaped.

"You share a _lot _of things when you're drunk," she replied. "So, did I pass your test, or are you going to ask for more? Because I got more . . ."

"No more," he stopped her. "All you said are true. Embarrassing, but true, kora. But, how come I don't remember any moment in my life where I first start telling other people about personal stuffs, especially to you?"

Lal shrugged.

"That's what I want to know . . ."

The three sat in silence, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain from outside. Lal couldn't help but feed herself with a scene of an exhilarating memory. She remembered how he looked at her back then. Full of love and care, and, even though they were underneath the pelting rain, she saw them. However, when she stares at him now, she couldn't see anything but bewilderment.

"I got it!" Eza suddenly cried with a snap. "The Parallel Theory, ara!"

"The what?" Lal inquired.

"Not that again, kora," Colonello heaved a sigh. "Sorry, Lal, my sister can be a bit . . ."

"But, the theory is true, big bro!" the little girl argued. "Don't you read, ara?"

"What theory?" Lal prodded.

Eza grinned while Colonello sighed. She took a piece of paper and started scribbling.

"Lal, have you ever heard of the term 'parallel world'?" she asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "I've heard one of my fellow military members talk about it. Although, isn't it just a myth?"

"I also think the same way," Colonello muttered.

"Hush, bro!" She pushed the drawing towards Lal. "The Parallel Theory states that for every world, there comes an equivalent parallel world which has the same features and content of this said world, except for a few minor things." She drew an arrow on a circle. "For example, in this world, this person exists as a man, and the other a woman. Things like that."

"So what are you trying to say? That I'm in a parallel world or something?"

"Well, there are two possibilities," Eza explained. "One is what you're saying. That there is this one incident that brought you to this place, though I have no idea what could that be, ara."

Lal raised an eyebrow at her, and then at Colonello, who gave a "just-go-with-it" gesture at her.

"And the other possibility?"

"That you are still in your world, the only problem is that something or someone interfered with the time stream, making it slip, letting you arrive at a slightly different future, ara!"

Eza smiled a cheerful smile, and Lal can't help but give an uncertain stare.

_So much like her brother…_

She stared up at the said Italian who was staring with a bored expression out the window. Her eyes followed his direction and found the pitter-patter of rain quite amusing.

So very nostalgic.

"Ne, Lal-san?" Eza suddenly called out. She turned her head back at the eccentric girl. "What are you planning now, ara?" This called Colonello's attention as well. He stared momentarily at his sister, and then questioningly at Lal. The latter was bemused.

"That depends on who I find," she finally answered. "Surely, someone somewhere might know me. Now that I know where I am, I know who to look for."

She knew it was ridiculous, this idea of hers, but hey, everything around her was ridiculous as well, so why not join the fun?

"Really, who, kora?" Colonello suddenly asked.

"Unfortunately, that's none of your business," Lal suddenly huffed, earning an amused gaze from the little blond girl.

"Oh, really?" the Italian suddenly squinted. "You are might as well now in a world where you don't exist, considering my sister's idea…"

"You don't believe it," the woman quickly pointed out.

"Even if I don't, I'm still right aren't I, kora? You have no one in this world. You're all alone…" He gave her quite a unique look—the one he gave people when he knew that they were fighting a loosing battle.

A stare full of pity and amusement.

"With all due respect," Lal suddenly mumbled. "Please don't look at me like that. I don't quite appreciate it."

A smirk formed in his face as he watched her blush in irritation.

"You look at me as if I'm some sort of clown…" she lowly growled.

"You're as amusing as one, kora."

Eza watched as Lal's hand form into a tight fist, and she had to raise an eyebrow.

Was Colonello _really _agitating a girl? And, he's succeeding?

"Why, you…" Lal snarled lowly. She could've spilled the coffee in his face and pulled him by the collar—she was already gripping on the cup. Now, if only his phone didn't ring.

"Excuse me," he muttered as he walked away, leaving the two girls by themselves. Lal let go of the cup, and leaned back on her seat, arms crossed across her chest. Eza looked at her blankly.

"Ne, Lal-san," she called out. Lal brusquely turned her head at her, slightly afraid that she might intimidate her. Lucky for her, Eza wasn't.

"What?" Lal asked.

"Are you and my brother really close, ara?" she queried.

"I said somewhat…" The woman sighed, and leaned on the table. "Why do you keep on asking that?"

"Because I've never seen my brother like that before to any girl… Only to you…"

"Oh, so he's never been a jerk to other girls? Lucky them…"

"No, you don't understand, Lal-san," Eza smiled. "That's a good thing. It means big brother is comfortable around you, which means he's familiar with you. This could work, ara!"

"What could work?" Lal monotonously asked.

"If big bro is very much familiar with you, then that means a part of him still remembers you! So it's possibility number three, ara!"

"You only gave out two possibilities."

"I did, ara?" Eza pouted, but soon brushed it off. "Well, the third possibility is more of like the two combined. Some sort of mystical intervention brought you here, into a new future. Maybe, this intervention interfered with one specific day in your life that made all this happen. You could just be an apparition!"

"An apparition…?"

"Uh-huh," Eza nodded. "Though not the apparition that is defined in mediocre dictionaries, but rather, an apparition is someone who does not belong to this reality, ara!"

_You're not part of this reality_, Lal thought as she mentally rolled her eyes.

"Look, Eza," she sighed. "You… are one _very… _unconventional girl… And, you have my pity."

"But, what I'm saying might be true, Lal-san," Eza argued.

Lal sighed again. Heaven only knows why she even bothers listening to this girl. She by no means believes in fairy tales and other ridiculous subjects. What this girl is suggesting is pure fantasy, but she already heard half of it, she might as well hear all.

"Okay, Eza, I'll humor you and this profound theory of yours." Lal slightly looked up in prayer—hoping that whoever is up there will have enough mercy to not let her be contaminated with the craziness of this household. "Let's say it's real… so what? How am I gonna fix it? How can I stop being an 'apparition'?"

"Well…" Eza's blue eyes squinted a bit as she thought deeply, like how a certain blond idiot from before used to do when he's trying to answer her questions. Suddenly, she grinned brightly, making Lal fluster on the inside.

_Her _Colonello used to do that.

"Well, if big bro seems to be the only connection between your world and this world, then maybe he's the medium, ara."

"Medium…"

"You can fix everything by making my big brother remember you in heart! Make his heart resonate with yours!"

"How am I going to do that?"

"True love's kiss!" she cried joyfully.

"Of course…" Lal aggravatingly rested her forehead on her hand.

"Lal-san, you should have figured that one out on your own," Eza beamed. "Do the things that you think can remind brother's heart of you."

"That didn't sound right," Lal claimed. "Both grammatically and ideally."

"I know!" Eza snapped again. "Why don't you ask big bro to let you stay here, ara?"

"What?"

"Here he comes! Go ask him!" Eza starts pushing her off the chair as Colonello entered the dining room.

"Eza, you…" Colonello started.

"Before that, big bro," Eza interrupted. "Lal-san has something to ask you!"

Colonello raised an eyebrow, and then stared at Lal. Lal just stared back.

"Ask him already!" Eza hissed.

"Well, kora?" Colonello prodded.

"I was just wondering," Lal started. "Does eccentricity run in your family?"

"What, kora?"

"That's not what she meant!" Eza exclaimed as she faced Lal. "Tell him that's not what you meant, Lal-san, ara!"

"You know what, you two? Whatever." Colonello checked the time a bit hastily and then back at the two struggling girls. "I need to meet with Alauria in," he checked his wristwatch, "Thirteen minutes, kora."

"B-but…"

"And I best be going," Lal added.

"B-but…"

"Which means, I'm going to have to call someone to babysit you, kora."

"BIG BROTHER!" Eza cried. "I'm too old for babysitters! How many times do we have to argue about it?"

Colonello raised two eyebrows at her. He didn't have the time to play games.

"But, if you do insist, ara…" She pulled Lal closer to her. "I want Lal-san to be my babysitter!"

"What?" the two both cried simultaneously.

"Take it or leave it," Eza shrugged.

"Look, Eza," Colonello reasoned out after giving a short glance at his wristwatch. Ten minutes. "I love you, but you couldn't have chosen a better time to be difficult. You know I can't leave you with a stranger—No offense, Miss Mirch."

"None taken," said woman replied.

"She's not a stranger," Eza argued. "You seem to know her pretty well, judging by how you treat her. Besides, she saved me from a while ago. Isn't that enough to prove to you that she is so very awesome, ara?"

"Now you're swerving off-topic, kora…"

To his surprise, she suddenly knelt down and hugged his knees, begging.

"Eza!" Colonello cried, trying to pry off her arms. "It's no use begging. I'm going to be late, kora!"

"You only have seven minutes, bro! Say yes, or I will grovel here for twenty more minutes, ara!"

"Fine!" he finally agreed. "I'll let Lal look after you, just let me go!"

"How come no one's asking for my opinion on this?" Lal complained to herself.

Eza stood up, and enveloped her brother in a bear hug.

"Thank you!"

Colonello stared uneasily at his sister, then at Lal, and then at his wristwatch.

"I still don't like this plan," he told them. "But, I'm in a hurry, so, I'll let this one go against my better judgment. Now if something bad happens, I'll…"

"Five minutes," Lal pointed out.

"Dang," he mouthed in anger as he made a run for the door.

"Bye, big bro!" Eza waved. Colonello suddenly stopped, and gave Lal a warning glare with the silent words of 'I'm watching you…' before he went to the door.

"Did he just call me Miss Mirch?" Lal asked.

"Why?"

Lal shook her head.

"Nothing. It's just that if there's one thing Colonello does not have for me, that's respect."

**-m16-**

Lal stared up at the bottom of the top of the bunker bed. Like Colonello, she doesn't like this plan at all. Living under the same roof where he sleeps is the last thing she could've planned to happen. It's too much for her to carry.

She turned to her side.

But, maybe this chance is what she was looking for to investigate on things. Sue her, but she feels like she's beginning to believe in Eza's ideas, crazy as they were. Perhaps she really _is _on a parallel world, though she doesn't know where she first got that idea from. So if that theory is true, then what shall she do now?

She turned again to the other side and tried to close her eyes.

"Lal-san…?" a voice called out from the top bed. "Are you still awake, ara?"

"Guess."

"Oh good, you are." Eza emerged from her blankets and went down the ladder to Lal's bed. Lal got up as well and watched her settle herself on the bedside.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm worried about big brother, ara. He's not home yet."

"Didn't he call earlier to tell you he'll be running late?"

Eza shrugged and sighed. She was still bothered by something.

"Eza…" Lal reached for her head and patted it comfortingly. "I know your brother's safe wherever he is. He won't go anywhere unsafe or do something stupid for he knows very well that his little sister is alone at his house with a stranger…"

"I thought you said you weren't offended, ara?"

"I wasn't," Lal lied. "I'm merely talking in the perspective of your brother. Now go to sleep. When you wake up, he's probably here." She lied down again and tried to close her eyes.

"Lal-san?"

"What?"

"Are all the things you've told me about you and big brother true, ara? The stories back in COMSUBIN?"

Lal gave a _tsk_ as she sat up for the second time. Now she regrets telling Eza about her and Colonello.

"In my world, yes," she replied. "Why?"

"You guys must be really happy together back then."

"I guess you could say that… I always feel comforted whenever Colonello was around. It's almost like I got used to him always having my back every now and then, that I somehow felt… joy." Lal's lower lip trembled and she had to bite it.

"Does it hurt?" Eza asked.

"Huh?"

"Living in a world where the Colonello who so very much cherished you now looks at you as if you were just… 'one of them'?"

Lal sighed.

"A little," she confessed. "Which is why I don't feel so good staying here."

"I'm sorry," Eza whispered, hugging her knees. "I just wanted you to and my brother to revive whatever relationship you two have in your world."

"Why does it seem so important to you?"

"Because I want you two to end up together… I don't like Alauria very well, ara…"

"Who's Alauria and why do you not like her?"

Eza grunted a bit before opening her mouth again. Somehow, this Alauria-person must really piss her off.

"Alauria is my brother's girlfriend."

Ouch.

"So? Is she mean to your brother or something?"

"No," Eza replied. "She's nice and sweet and caring… and she sickens me so much."

"She seems nice to me."

"Well, not to me. I don't like the way she makes my brother feel. She' so gentle and sweet that my brother had developed this fear of hurting her and tainting that purity she holds. Often times, I see her play the 'guilt-game' with him whenever he has something to say that she doesn't like, and it sickens me to see my brother fall for her vindictive traps…"

"The way I see it, the one with the problem here is your brother. He loves her too much."

"She _makes _him that way," Eza stressed. "She uses my brother's sensitivity to women to her own advantage. It's like she's hypnotizing him, and he's letting her, ara."

"Have you ever tried talking to him about this?" Lal asked. "And, 'sensitivity to women'? Are you kidding me?"

"Well, he started being like that ever since our father left us for some other woman. After seeing how my mom grieved for him, he must've sworn to himself that he wouldn't do the same. Now, he's a loving kind of man, and I love him for that, but, not so much when it comes to Alauria. He tends to forget about other things when Alauria is in the subject, ara."

Lal tried to counter, but she realized that Eza was kind of right. The scene from just a while ago was all the more enough evidence to prove her stand.

"Connect the dots for me, Eza, but, if ever he and I _did _end up together, won't it be the same thing? Only with another girl?"

"Well, I like you more than Alauria," Eza beamed. "Besides, I'm pretty sure the case would be different if it was you. He seems to have such a grip on reality when you're around. He tends to be himself, and not just some pretentious looser who's obsessed about his goody-two-shoes little girlfriend, ara."

Eza suddenly jolted slightly.

"Ne, Lal-san. Please don't tell my brother I call him and his girlfriend that behind his back."

Lal chuckled softly.

_So very much like him…_

"Okay," she whispered. "Now, go to bed."

"Alright," Eza agreed. "Good night, Lal-san, ara!"

Lal didn't bother answering anymore. She was too busy wallowing in despair from underneath her blanket.

This was how different of a world this was.

In this place, she can feel the strange feeling of jealousy screaming from within her upon hearing the fact that Colonello was now in love with someone else.

He was now throwing his life for someone else. Not for her.

Although, wasn't this what she wished for?

Ten minutes later, and she felt like she has endured enough. Stealthily, she slid off her bed, and took her belongings with her.

She can't bear to stay here anymore.

It's just torture.

"Where are you going, kora?" Lal almost yelped in shock at the image of Colonello, wet from running under the rain presumably, staring down at her.

"D-don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry," Colonello rolled his eyes. "So, where are you going? And where's Eza, kora?"

"Eza's upstairs, asleep. As for me, I'm going already. I think I've overstayed my welcome, so—H-HEY!" Lal wasn't able to finish her speech as soon as Colonello stumbled towards her arms, pushing her down the carpeted floor.

"C-Colonello!" she cried in a whisper. Roughly, she pushed him away and moved a few inches away to breathe. The Italian didn't react at her sudden thrust, and just ended up leaning on the bottom of the couch, his head resting on the cushioned seat. Lal watched him stir for a moment-if you call the rise and fall of his shoulders at his every breath a form of stirring-before she crawled towards him.

"Colonello...?" she whispered.

He didn't respond.

"Are you alright?"

Still, no response.

She went a little closer and took in the scent of his breath.

It reeked of alcohol.

"Dammit' you're drunk," she sighed as she stood up and helped him to the couch. He was far heavier than she thought, since she got so used to him being an Arcobaleno, but thankfully, she succeeded in pushing him to the couch, with her following him.

"Who's there, kora?" Colonello suddenly bolted in slight surprise, but immediately calmed down upon seeing Lal, though the latter was unsure if he recognized her.

"Oh, it's you, kora."

"Heck, yeah, it's me," Lal replied indignantly.

Colonello sighed as he leaned his lead backwards and covered his face with his palm.

"Why are you still up, kora?" he asked. He turned his head towards her and saw the evident flushing of her face as she gave a sidelong glance. Again, he sighed.

"Are you leaving already?"

"I don't have a reason to stay longer," she mumbled.

"I see," he whispered, blinking wearily at her. "That's too bad, kora."

Lal raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled.

"Sorry… It's just that Eza seems to like you so much and I was kind of hoping you could stay a little longer to keep her company, kora."

"Why? Can't you?"

"I'm going through something right now, kora…"

"Obviously…"

Silence.

"So what happened with you?" Lal suddenly asked. "Problem?"

"I don't see why it should concern you, but… yeah. It's more of a 'girlfriend problem', kora…"

"You guys had a fight?"

"Something like that," he whispered. "She, uh… Broke up with me…"

Lal suddenly stared at him with disbelief, and found a lone tear falling down from his eyes.

"I'm sorry…"

"Nah, I should be the one saying sorry here," Colonello chuckled. "I feel like I'm keeping you from something, kora…"

"It's fine," she reassured him. "It can wait..."

She tried to steal a glance at him as he breathed, and watched how he blankly blinks at the ceiling, as if he was in a trance. Never in her life had she seen him this way, not even when he's drunk. How much have this man been through to act so differently from the jolly and cheerful Colonello who didn't give much care about things.

Where has the old Colonello gone?

"I can feel you staring at me," he suddenly muttered, casting a sidelong glance at her, to which she avoided immediately. "Is that a habit of yours? Staring so musingly at people, kora?"

"What can I say?" she replied. "You're one of those kinds of people that are so very hard to depict. It took me quite a long time just to get what you really are, but, now, as I'm staring at you, I feel like all those efforts to comprehend ended in vain…"

"You act as if you knew me or my past life even though I don't remember telling anyone anything, kora…"

"That's because I'm from a parallel world," she mocked, a small smirk forming on her face.

"I didn't think you'd believe in that kind of rubbish, kora," he muttered.

"I don't," Lal assured him. "Who knows where Eza got those crazy ideas from…"

Suddenly, Colonello looked hurt.

"She got those from me, kora."

"Oh."

Lal stared at him questioningly, and he looked away.

"What can I say? I'm a deceiving brother. When she was young, she became so depressed after finding out that our mother died after giving birth to her, so I lied and told her that mom wasn't really dead, but was transported into another world, kora…"

"Uh-huh…"

"Well, thankfully, she eventually matured and soon accepted mom's case, but as for the parallel worlds and other fairy tales such as that…"

"They stayed in her mind, and she believed them."

"Yeah, kora…"

Lal hummed a bit as she thought of something.

"Well, just to add insult to injury, you used to believe in that nonsense as well…"

Colonello gave a small, tepid breath, but he smiled.

"Though I still don't know where you got that information, it's true. I used to believe in fairy tales… Until things started turning for the worst, kora…"

Lal raised an eyebrow.

"Worst?"

"A lot has happened in the past, and some of them are already too painful to even think about," he sighed. "Like now. I fucked up big time, and see what came out of that, kora."

Lal just stared at him, and soon, she could finally see herself in him. Back then, when _she _was the one ranting about every little shit that happened in her crap of a life, Colonello was there, eagerly listening, holding her hand the whole time. She remembered how wonderful it all felt; the feeling of knowing that someone was there to share the hurt.

She wondered if in this lifetime, Colonello had a chance to feel that way. Crudely, she stared down and found his free hand just resting peacefully between them. She wanted to reach for it, and feel that same warmth she felt back then, but, if there was one thing that Lal lacked, it was the courage to do such compassionate things.

"Colonello," she softly called out. Said man turned his head to stare at her, and she found herself feeling afraid again, but she tried her best to push that feeling away and slightly raised her hand for him.

_Hold my hand and tell me everything… _

Slowly, Colonello raised his hand, and gently—ever so tenderly—he wrapped hers with his, and both landed softly at the space between them. A different kind of silence ensued, enveloping them in a small moment of mental communication, both listening to each other breaths. Little by little, their faces went closer towards each other. Lal backed a little—but only a little. As a matter of fact, she would have accepted the kiss fully if ever it did happen.

The problem is that it didn't.

Colonello immediately pulled back, and hauled his hand away. Lal, too, gave the act of recoiling, although, even though she wouldn't acknowledge that feeling, she felt disappointed in a sense.

"This isn't right, kora," he mumbled, burying his face with his hands. Lal gave a muffled breath as she rested her hand on his back.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, although, deep inside her, she wanted to convince herself that this wasn't a fault. It was what was supposed to be. At least for her, it was.

She looked down at him when he didn't respond, and found him trembling.

He was crying.

"You're not her…" he kept garbling, much to her own surprise and frustration.

When was it never "her"?

As far as she was concerned, it was always "her", and only "her".

"I'm not 'her'," she still agreed, even though she was dying deep inside. Important rule in trying to comfort a drunken person: know which question you should agree or disagree.

More silence. They just sat there, basking in each other's presence in a limited manner, afraid that too much might leave them wanting more. At least, that was what Lal felt.

Oh, if only she could see herself now, and notice how out-of-character she has become just to remind Colonello of who she was.

"Sometimes, I wish I could just end this life once and for all, kora," he suddenly mumbled.

Lal looked shock for a moment, but she easily regained composure. She have heard people say that countless times and at least less than an eight of them did succeed, but never in her life would she expect Colonello to be "just like them".

She had always found him special.

Perhaps specialty only works once in different parallel selves.

_Heh, _she thought with a sigh. _There you go again, Lal. _

"You know," she began. "I fully understand what you're trying to say. I myself had shares of moments wherein I wish myself dead, but… Let's face it; death doesn't count as a solution. It's more of like a gesture to say that you give up and you don't care about what could and what would happen next. Knowing you, that's just not the type of mentality that goes in that brain of yours."

"Who told you that, kora?" he asked monotonously.

"_You did_" was what she wanted to say to him, for it was true, but instead, she just gave out a shrug.

"Have you ever thought the same way, kora?"

"Huh?" Lal blinked. Colonello moved to straighten himself. He took a deep breath, and leaned back, feeling tired all of a sudden.

"Have you ever tried killing yourself, kora?" he clarified.

"Countless times," she replied. The man's eyes penetrated through her body upon knowing the answer, as if he didn't want to believe it.

"What stopped you, then, kora?"

Instead of answering, she leaned forward and covered his eyes with her hands. It was a technique she learned to do to make Colonello fall asleep when he was drunk. Although, she doubts whether it'll work on this guy, it was worth a shot. Shortly after, his breathing started to regulate and his muscles seemed to have become more lax. Unhurriedly, she raised her hand to reveal his two closed eyes, and she had to smile.

She couldn't tell the difference between _him _and his "parallel self" (not again, Lal) when he was in deep slumber. From where she sat, she could only see one Colonello.

The Colonello that she loves.

"You want to know who stopped me, huh?" she whispered, nearing her face towards him. "Let me just tell you that you know him quite well…"

**-m16-**

Colonello wakes at the crack of dawn and finds himself lying on the couch, a blanket draped across his body. He looked around and, oh, how his head ached. With one hand grabbing his pounding cranium, he sat up and looked around. He must've gotten too drunk last night because he couldn't remember a thing.

Or, rather, he could remember everything, although, he can't assess whether the things he was remembering were either dreams or not. He slid off the couch and walked towards the kitchen, and found himself feeling like there was something missing.

Then he remembered.

"Lal?"

The kitchen was empty, and an eerie type of silence engulfed the whole household. Surely, he knew that the scene with her from last night was real. The sting in his lips told him so.

But, where was she?

"Lal?"

He concluded not long after that she must've gotten back upstairs, and is probably still asleep, so he shrugged it off.

But, as he was waiting for the coffee maker to do its thing, it suddenly dawned on him.

_I don't have a reason to stay longer…_

Immediately, as if he was trying to chase something, he went to the front door, and found that it wasn't locked, but was closed in a way that will make it seem like so from the outside. That means, somebody came out last night, and didn't come back in. He checked the other doors, and they were all locked.

Just not the front door.

_Has she left? _he thought. A tinge of disappointment became evident in his eyes as he remembered the warmth that he had felt from last night. Then, he remembered that premonition that she might as well be upstairs. He knew that the chances of finding her there was zero, but he still proceeded in trying.

With a small amount hope in his heart, he ran upstairs and proceeded to Eza's room. As soon as he opened it, his little sister's cheery voice greeted him.

"Big brother!" she cried with her arms up wide. "Morning hug!" The younger blonde slid off the lower bunk bed and wrapped her arms around him. Colonello took that chance to search the room, but he found no one.

She really must've left.

"Did you have a nice sleep, kora?" he asked softly, careful not to let Eza notice the frustration in his voice.

"Is something wrong, big bro?"

But, Eza still noticed.

"Oh, uh…"

"Eza?"

The two fair-haired Italians looked behind them to see a blue-haired lady emerging from the other door. She immediately set her eyes at them, and it didn't take long for her to lock eyes with the older blond. Eza looked back and fro at them with a curious look in her face.

"What's wrong, ara?" she asked innocently when none of the two has still spoken. Then, another mischievous smile spread on her face.

"Ne, big brother? Why not give Lal-san a 'morning hug', too?"

"Uh, I don't think that's a proper thing for me to do, kora…"

"Why not, ara?" Eza huffed. Colonello just patted on her head and sent her to clean herself, leaving the two alone for yet another time.

"Good morning, kora," he mumbled without looking at her. Lal, on the other hand, was looking at him straightly before she sighed, and looked away.

"You too."

Awkward silence.

"Uh, breakfast is ready, kora…"

Lal blinked, and allowed herself a glimpse of his face, giving an almost inaudible "oh, I see". Colonello gave a fake cough as he moved away from the door to give her way. A light scowl still implanted in her face, she proceeded to walk past him, doing her best to move as inconspicuously as she could. However, Colonello still felt an evident tension, and he knew he had to try and fix it somehow.

"Wait," he softly called out. Lal stopped and turned around. Colonello's eyes slightly widened.

"A-About last night, kora…"

Lal gave a soft grunt as she turned around and started walking away, a small blush forming in her face.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

**-m16-**

"That was awfully close," Lal muttered to herself as she walked towards the kitchen. Occasionally, she'd look behind her to see if he was at her tail.

Good thing he wasn't.

Crudely, she took out that certain object that's been bugging her since last night. She found it somewhere near Colonello after he had fallen asleep, and truthfully, she has no idea if it fell off of him or from her.

It was the Rain Pacifier, dull and faded.

Judging by how this pacifier looked, it may have not been used for a long time, or was never used to begin with.

A shiver suddenly ran down her spine, making her drop the pacifier to the floor. The round object rolled itself towards a slightly opened door, and Lal listened to the crashing sound that came after. With an annoyed sigh, she pushed the door open to find a dark room. Her eyes moved around the floor, and followed the pacifier's route, bringing her towards the bed. She knelt down, and stretched her arm under it, and felt for something round. What she felt, however, was something flat and rectangular.

She pulled it out, and found it to be just a notebook with a wilted rose between its pages. She was supposed to leave it as that, and proceed to searching for the pacifier, but the rose reminded her of something that was vaguely familiar. With a shrug, she opened the first page, and read...

_September 23rd, First Day in COMSUBIN_

Immediately, she closed the book shut. She knew that handwriting, and she knew that date. It was the date she officially announced her resignation from COMSUBIN, and, was asked to wait for six months. In those six months, they instructed her to specially train one soldier and mold him into someone worthy to replace her.

That soldier was the owner of this handwriting.

Colonello.

After taking a deep breath, she tried to open the book again, but couldn't bring herself to read the whole page without blinking. Instead, she just scanned through the pages, and took into her mind the significant words and phrases that caught her attention.

_My instructor is really cute, although, a bit cruel. Her name's Lal Mirch and, call me "clichéd" but I seriously think I'm in love with her._

_Today, she called me "an idiot" for only twenty times! That should count as improvement, right? _

_Lal told me I was improving, and heaven could only know how much that meant for me. I feel like it won't be long before I can find it in myself to tell her what I feel._

_I wonder what has happened with her. She's been evading me lately, and I'm getting a bit worried. It didn't help that I overheard a lot of gossip about her leaving. Could it be true?_

Lal read through the ink blotches with trembling eyes. Everything that Colonello wrote here is what exactly happened during their days together in COMSUBIN. If that wasn't strange enough, then how could one explain how Lal's name appeared in this journal? Almost every page contained her name.

She stopped there for a few minutes to breath, and then she started flipping the pages again. As she went farther, the letters began to lessen until there were only a few, big words written at the next page.

_I hate you, Lal._

"What the hell..." she gasped. The rest of the pages were either blank or ripped. There was nothing more she could read, and she had no plans to read more.

What has happened during the COMSUBIN days that made Colonello so furious at her? She knew she had been cruel at her farewell to him, but she was sure he found out the truth in some time, otherwise he wouldn't have come to save her during the birth of the Arcobalenos.

_Saved me..._

Could it be?

The light suddenly turned on.

"What are you doing?" A hand whooshed out from behind her, and snatched the journal away. Lal quickly turned around and found Colonello scowling at her.

"Colonello..." she muttered. Her eyes shifted from his face, then towards the journal, and then towards his face again.

"Who gave you permission to enter my room, kora?" he hissed. Lal just stared up at him, unable to speak.

Of course, she wasn't afraid of him. She was just tongue-tied.

Was Colonello lying about not remembering her? Was he denying something? He looked as if he was about to explode upon realizing that she had read something he didn't want her to know, and that, for her, may as well count that he was trying to deny or hide something from her.

Suddenly, the same amount of fury surged within Lal's system, and she was determined to get answers.

"Why did you lie to me?" she questioned. "The things written there are proof enough that you knew me all along. Why did you hide that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lal..." he scowled, looking away.

"Colonello, you're lying a useless lie, and you know that!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, and what? You're going to tell me that I'm being hurtful?" he challenged. "Who was the one who lied to me about her feelings all throughout? Who was the one who stabbed me every stinking day with inhumane words and pushed me away with all her might? Who was the one who told me that she didn't care about what I felt about her? Stop pointing fingers, Lal. I am just as much as a victim as you are, kora."

"What are you talking about?"

"You left me, Lal," he whispered. "I loved you then, and what did you tell me? You told me that you didn't care. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me? You walked out of my life without at least giving one glance to my direction. Heck, you didn't even give a proper farewell. No, you just told me that you don't give a fucking shit about me, kora."

"But, I…"

"Yet, I tried to move on… And, damn, I could have, but you… You kept on coming back, Lal. Why do you love doing that? What could you possibly find enjoying in toying with my emotions, kora?"

Lal just shook her head. She had no idea what Colonello was talking about, but, judging by how furious he was, it was serious.

As if Colonello could read the confusion in her mind, he reached for a drawer, and pulled out a familiar piece of cloth, and handed it to her. Lal just stared at it, and slowly, she realized what it was.

Colonello's bandanna that she had handmade for him. She remembered how much he had cherished this, despite how poorly-made it was. But now, judging by how tattered and faded it was, he had let it rot together with the other things that connected him to his past.

His past with her.

"I'm so sorry, Colonello," she found herself muttering.

"Yeah?" he mumbled indignantly. "Well, if you really were, then you wouldn't be here, kora."

Lal just swallowed hard, refusing to stare at Colonello's eyes. He, in turn, stared so vehemently at her small being, melting her if ever it was possible.

He doesn't intend to be mean to her. He's not that kind of guy. But, to be played upon like this will make any nice guy boil with anger and disgust. It's human nature; something he was sure Lal had.

"Still, I am, Colonello," she whispered again. "I'm sorry if I left you in this time frame. I'm sorry if I neglected what you felt for me. As a matter of fact, I regret wishing for all this to happen…"

Then, a hopeful glint passed through her weary eyes. She remembered what Eza had said. Since a fantastical event brought her here, then maybe a fantastical event might bring her back.

_True love's kiss…_

The idea still taunts her as ridiculous, but everything else around her was already ridiculous to begin with, why not join the party?

"You know that this could be fixed, right?" she suggested in a monotone voice. "We can bring things back to _my _reality. The reality where you and I are together…"

"If it was that great, then why did you wish for it to end, kora?"

_Because I wanted you to be safe_, she thought. However, she now knows that safety and happiness are two very different things. You can be safe, but unhappy; whereas, you can be happy even though you're not safe.

As an Arcobaleno, Colonello was happy. Lal never realized that until now. He maybe may be suffering physically, but he was healthy and safe emotionally for he knew he was sharing the pain with his most beloved Lal.

And Lal was sharing the pain with her most beloved Colonello.

Why has she thrown this perfect life away for something as ridiculous as the word "safety"?

"Knowing you, it would've been a fair reason," Colonello answered for her. "And even if wasn't, the consequence is still the same… You can never come back, kora."

He bit his lips as a tear strolled down his cheeks. With a silent breath, he reached for her shoulders and forced her to look at him straightly.

"In this world, you don't exist, Lal… You're dead…" he continued, his voice beginning to crack. "You ended your life, and it broke me to know that. Heaven knows how much I tried to do everything that was possible for me to do—heck, I even tried the things that I couldn't do—just to bring back the time… Even a little… As long as I could save you. But, even _that _was deprived from me, so what makes you think that you could fix all this, when I wasn't given the chance to do so, kora?"

Lal tried to open her mouth again, but her lips trembled too hard that she lost control of them. She couldn't speak.

"Bringing back time and other shits like that… They're just Fairy Tales… They're not real… The happy endings that we often dream about are just a myth… They're just fantasies. This is reality… And reality is that you're long gone, and I've moved on and found someone else, kora…"

The cherry-eyed woman bit her fading lips and nodded.

"You of all people should know that, Lal…" His hand slid against her shoulder and started walking away. Lal was speechless.

Who was the first one who said that Fairy Tales are not real?

She did.

Now, who's gonna suffer because of it?

She will.

With all her might, she straightened herself, and stared at him.

"Colonello," she called. He stopped and turned around to look at her. She was supposed to say something that could make her come out a little clean than what she felt. But, looking into his broken pair of blue eyes made her a coward. She was now afraid to say something that would hurt him even more.

"I… I still don't believe in Fairy Tales…" She tried to smile, but failed.

"But I'll always believe in you…"

To Lal's surprise, Colonello suddenly pulled her roughly, and pushed his lips against hers. His hand grasped on her waist, and she, in turn threw her arms around his neck. As their lips touched, and his tongue entered her mouth, a lone tear trickled down her pale cheek.

She realized how fragile it all was. That if she came and told him what she really felt about him—that she loved him and only wanted what's best for him—he would've come to save her. If he had come to save her, she wouldn't have been a full Arcobaleno…

…And she would've lived.

She would have had the courage to live if Colonello's feelings were never suppressed; Compassion would've been hers, and not hostility…

Love, not hatred…

Colonello…

… And not death…

This was the first time that Colonello had kissed her—at least, in the past events of this time frame—and if it there was something it didn't contain, it was love.

The irony of a kiss.

"W-what is this?" Eza muttered to herself as she stared at the book on her lap. It was a book of fairy Tales—something she calls "research material"—and, obviously, she didn't like what it said.

"An apparition has the capacity to read anyone's heart and even provide anyone what's in theirs as long as their hearts are open," she read aloud. "However, the existence of an apparition is incredibly delicate, as they are now walking amongst a time frame in which they do not belong. Due to that, there is a huge amount of possibility that they can disappear without a trace if not able to bring themselves back to their original dimension…"

Eza breathed hard as she scanned through her notes.

This is bad.

Clutching the book and her notepad in her arms, she slid off the bed and went to find Lal.

Slowly, Colonello let Lal go.

"There," he said. He wanted to say something else, but he knew that Lal can tell what he wanted to say.

"It didn't work," she mumbled as she stared at her hands. "I'm still here…"

Of course, she knew it wouldn't work.

Fairy Tales are not real, after all.

Yet, why… Why did she hear so many things while their lips were locked together? As if she could see his memories in that moment, and what she saw was everything but pretty.

What kind of nightmare has Colonello's life turned out to be? No wonder… No wonder he's like this…

He was now broken; battered roughly by Fate, and he was trying to move on. Yet, here she was, the cause of it all, praying for him to accept her back into his life.

She bit her lips again.

What kind of monster was she?

The sound of a door squeaking woke her up, and she looked up to see him holding the door out for her, signaling her to leave. Possibly forever.

Feeling as heavy as a rock at the edge of a cliff, she stepped forward, and felt her whole world crumble. She is now numb of everything, and her mind was just blank as she stepped out of the door. The only thing that woke her up from her trance was the soft thud of the door.

"Lal-san…" Said woman looked to her side and found Eza looking at her solemnly. She had to bitterly smile.

What a familiar look.

"Yeah, Eza?"

Eza sniffed childishly, and then forced a smile.

"I'm so sorry, Lal-san…" she sniffed, her voice quavering. "I'm so sorry that it didn't work… I don't know what to do anymore, ara…"

"Idiot," she sighed. "What are you apologizing about?"

"Lal-san…"

"Oh, come on, Eza, don't be such a baby… You…" All of a sudden, Lal felt tears coming out of her eyes, and she realized she couldn't hold it in much longer. Eza ran towards her, wrapped her two arms around Lal's trembling body, and cried.

Lal's knees buckled, and the both of them fell down on their knees. There, Lal did what she never thought she'd do in a million lifetimes.

She bawled.

From the other side of the door, Colonello listened to their muffled sobs, and felt worse than he already did.

He didn't want to hurt Lal.

Fact is, he wanted her to be happy, which is why he chose not to follow her, thinking he was what causes her depression. Now, he realizes that he was the thin line that divided Lal and death.

That thin line is now broken, and none of them could do anything about it.

_I want to say I don't care, but my heart says I do. I want to say I don't miss you, but still I continue. I want to say that I can live without you, but now, I'm dying just to be with you._

Colonello walked back to his bed to sulk, but he realized he had stepped on something. He bent down and picked it up.

"What's this doing here, kora?"

He stared at the dull and fading pacifier, and sighed. He was sure he had seen the last of it a long time ago. Why was it showing itself to him again? Goodness knows how much he wants to throw this thing away from his sight; away from his life. It only reminded him of bitterness—a place in his past that he didn't want to step into again. But, staring at it only made him reminisce, and for that, he curses the small object.

"_Are you Colonello?"_

"_Yeah. Why, kora?"_

"_Perchance you might know someone of the name Lal Mirch?"_

"_Lal…? W-Why? What about her, kora?"_

"…"

"_Well, kora?"_

"_Here, take this…"_

"_W-What is this…?"_

"_That is the Rain Pacifier… And it rightfully belongs to Lal Mirch…"_

"_Then, why are you giving me this, kora?"_

"_I'm sorry to deliver such horrible news to you, but, I figured you of all people should know…"_

"_Know what, kora?"_

"_Lal Mirch, the rightful owner of that Pacifier… Is now dead…"_

He clutched onto that pacifier as tears strolled down his cheeks. Oh, how much he wanted that pain to fade into a funny little memory, but no matter what he does, the pain still comes back. He wanted to throw that stupid pacifier away and watch it shatter into pieces, but for what? Even if it does break, would he still be able to forget and move on? He was surrounded by memories; all of them living.

He was condemned to a life of misery and grief, and, no matter how much he tries to escape, as long as these memories—these _putrid _memories that _she _carries with her—still remains, so will everything else.

Perhaps, he should just best accept that.

The next few days began to turn different. He began to notice how seldom he sees Lal around the house, up until the point where he never saw her again. Eza doesn't seem to wail much, not even when he leaves the house for work, so it was most probably that Lal was still there, just avoiding him as much as possible; something he appreciated greatly.

Then, came this one day, where he saw her again, and this time, she was looking at him straight in the eye. He immediately stopped walking, and stared back. For a few minutes, there was this mental communication between them, and soon, she broke that silence.

"You need to come with me…" she told him.

"Why? You know there's nothing more for us to talk about, and HEY!" Before he could say anything else, she had already grabbed him by the wrist, and dragged him out the house.

"Lal! Will you please stop for a minute, kora?" He pulled his arm and stared at her with disbelief.

"Oh, stop being such a baby, Colonello. Just follow me."

"I'm not going to unless you tell me what's going on, kora."

"Can't we talk about that later? Right now, we need to hurry…" With that, she pulled him again, her hold tighter this time, not anymore entertaining his questions. Soon, they reached the same clearing from where they first met, and that was the only time she let him go.

"Seriously, Lal," he growled, rubbing his wrist. "What kind of act was that, kora?"

Lal didn't answer, and just looked around the area, as if she was looking for something.

"Lal? Are you even listening? I'm talking to you, kora!"

"There's your answer." She gestured for the middle of the clearing, and there stood a girl with blonde—almost white hair—looking around, as if looking for someone. Colonello watched her turn her head here and there, until she averted her gaze towards him.

"Alauria…" he muttered, blinking warily at the wide-eyed girl who was looking at him with fear. Gingerly, she stepped back, and attempted to run away, but Colonello made haste and ran towards her. He easily caught up with her, and as soon as he could grab her wrist, he pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her.

"You came back, kora…" he sobbed. Alauria's widened even more as she fought to keep the tears from coming out. She struggled to free herself from his embrace, and he couldn't do anything but grieve at her show of resentment. He reached for her face, and forced a smile.

"Please, hear me out, Alauria… I didn't mean to hurt you that way. Please. I _regret _everything that I have done. Give me another chance …" He held her face with both hands.

"Alauria, I love you, kora…"

The girl just looked up at him with trembling eyes, and, slowly, she nodded.

"I love you, too," she whispered, wrapping him in her graceful cuddle. "I'm so sorry I left."

"It's fine. What matters is that you came back, kora." He took a deep breath, and reached for something from his pocket. He then knelt down, and looked up at her.

"Alauria, I've been meaning to ask you this way before you decided to leave me." He reached for her hand, and watched her face conjure up a smile. From behind them, a certain cobaltette got tired of the sickening drama and began to walk away.

Only she didn't walk fast enough.

Even from the distance she created between them, she could still hear those four words (five if you consider his "kora's" as words) that shook her into a curdling pot of despair.

"Will you marry me, kora?"

**-m16-**

"Eza, I'm home, kora."

Colonello softly closed the door behind him, and found his sister looking troubled all of a sudden.

"Hey, kiddo. What's wrong?"

"Big brother…" she choked, and then ran towards him.

"H-hey, why are you crying?" he asked. "Wait, you heard the news already, kora?"

"News, ara?"

Colonello grinned.

"Alauria and I are getting married, kora!"

"_WHAT?_" Eza began to hyperventilate as she felt her way back to the couch. "Dear God, I have to sit down, ara…"

Colonello followed her towards the couch.

"Okay, looks like the news was bad timing," he commented, patting the trembling blonde's head. "What's going on with you, kora?"

"I don't remember…"

Colonello raised an eyebrow.

"Don't remember what, kora? Why you're wigging out like that?"

"No, that's not it!" She shook her head vigorously. "You don't understand! I-it's her! She… I-I can't remember her name…"

"Eza, will you please calm down and tell me what's going on with you, kora?"

The girl did so, and grabbed her notepad. She began flipping the pages while talking.

"She must've failed," she muttered. "Which is why I can't remember her… B-but… This can't be happening. It's too soon for her to fail, ara…"

"What in the name of Sparta are you talking about, kora?"

Eza stopped at a page, and presented it to him. He took the pad, and started reading.

"Apparitions… a huge amount of possibility to disappear without a trace if not able to bring themselves back to their original dimension… What, kora?"

"S-she's an apparition, big brother… And… And… I think she's beginning to disappear because I can't remember her… Why can't I remember her, ara?"

Colonello stared at his sister, not being able to comprehend what she was blabbering about.

"I still don't understand, kora."

"A-a girl! I feel like we were really close! Y-you know her, big bro! You have to remember her, ara!"

"Wait… Are you talking about Lal, kora?"

"Lal…?" Eza seemed to have relaxed upon the sound of that name. Her hands gradually went down, and she finally allowed her brother to hold her.

"Is that her name, ara?"

"Y-you don't remember who Lal is, kora?"

"I feel like I know her in some way… That name rings a bell, ara…"

"What the hell, Eza?"

"Try all your might, and you won't understand her," a voice commented from behind her. Eza didn't seem to hear, for she still stared at whatever it was in front of her, but Colonello heard it quite clear. Lal frowned and looked away.

"I've been trying so hard since a while ago to talk to her, and she acts as if she couldn't see me… The same goes for the other people I passed by on my way here…"

"Lal, kora…"

"Lal, ara?" Eza seemed to have brightened up. "Big brother, is she there? Can you see her, ara?"

He stared at Eza, and then back at Lal.

"Yeah, I can see her, kiddo," he replied, gently turning her around to make her face the cobaltette. "She's right there, kora."

Eza, however, saw nothing. Still, she went forward, and reached out to where she thinks Lal is, even though she only felt thin air. Lal's eyes began to produce tears.

"Lal-san," she whispered. "Can you hear me? If you can, then let me tell you that I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you enough to let you stay here. And, I also want to thank you for coming… It meant a lot that you came, ara…"

"It meant a lot for me to meet you, too, Eza. Thank you…"

The girl just nodded, though it was obvious she didn't hear her.

"Eza…" Colonello whispered, snuggling himself to her. She, however, did not say anything, and just placed her hands down. With a deep breath, she broke from Colonello's hold, and walked away, leaving the two alone.

"What's going on, kora?" he asked, reaching for Lal, but she pulled her hand without delay.

"I'm fine… Don't mind me…" She started to walk away. "Just go follow Eza… She needs you more."

"Lal, I won't leave here unless you tell me what is going on." He grabbed her wrist, and pulled her in, like how he did with Alauria not long before. The only difference is that her hand was cold.

So very cold.

He examined her hand, and found the most peculiar thing he could ever expect to see. It was beginning to fade. As in, literally fade.

"What the…" He stared into her face. "So, all these shits Eza was talking about…?"

"They're real…" Lal tried to walk away again, but her vision began to blur, and she couldn't stop herself from falling down to the ground. Colonello acted quickly, and caught her in his arms. She began to wince, and gave out a loud scream of pain.

"Lal!" he cried, attempting to carry her, but she held out her hand at him; a sign of refusal.

"There's nothing more any of us could do… It's over…" She rested her hand on his chest, and closed her eyes. "Please, don't trouble yourself…"

Colonello watched her draw heavy breaths, unable to do anything. Much as he hate to admit it, Lal was right. By the looks of it, there's nothing more he could do.

"I'm so sorry, Lal…" he whispered. Her eyes fluttered open, and they befell onto a pair of aggrieved cerulean orbs. Gently, he reached for her face, and felt even more despaired.

For her face was also cold.

So very cold.

"It's not your fault," she muttered, looking away. "Besides, you tried, didn't you? It didn't work…"

"But, Lal, I…"

"Just forget it, alright?" she cried. "It's stupid, ridiculous, and, moreover, futile... Just… Just forget it…"

She tried to lift her eyes to meet his again. They were filled with agony, yes, but, they were still unrecognizing; in contrast to hers that were filled with nothing but desperate yearning. To think that it will all end this way…

Pathetic.

Sad, cold, and pathetic…

"I don't like the thought of having people watch me suffer," she whispered. "So, if you wouldn't mind…"

"I won't leave you, if that's what you're going to suggest, kora," he immediately replied.

"That's absurd…"

"_You're _absurd, Lal," he scowled. "How could you expect me to leave you here to suffer on your own, kora?"

To that, Lal smiled. Almost laughed even.

"You already did it once," she weakly pointed out. "What's keeping you from doing it twice?" She tried to move but couldn't.

"Besides," she continued. "I was the one who wanted this, so…"

The scowl in his face disappeared, and was replaced by a despaired frown. An image of this strong woman breaking down into wretched tears passed through his mind. He knew there was still that unbearable feeling of want in those tears that she had shed, so, it was too impossible for her to give up that easily.

He knew her too well.

"So, why _did _you do it?" he asked. "You're the one who called Alauria out, right? You did it even though you knew it could end up this way… Why, kora?"

She didn't answer.

"Was it because of that incident from the other night the reason why you're giving up, huh, Lal? Are you really that easily discouraged by those words I spat out at you? Are you really firm on leaving this way, kora?"

Still, no response.

He didn't bother pushing anymore his questions, but just kept her close, hoping to take at least some of the pain away. His eyes refused to land on the lower part of her legs, although he can tell that they have already faded even without doing so. Instead, he resorted to her face—a mask of indifference and relief—and forced himself to believe that she is and always will be fine.

It was his mantra, even from the beginning.

"Would you believe me if I tell you that I made Alauria come back because I thought it could help me win your trust back?" she suddenly muttered. "Stupid and selfish, isn't it?"

"What…?"

"Don't worry," she finally responded. "I'm not sad or enraged because of what you did to me, just surprised. Never in my life would I expect you of all people to deliver such hostile feelings towards me." She took a deep breath, and continued.

"But, that's the problem here: I expected. I learned how to hope, and now, I'm suffering because of it." She turned her head towards him. "That's the only thing I want to blame you for…"

"Lal…"

"You want to know the reason why I gave up? It's because I know I'm fighting a loosing battle. Even from the beginning… The only thing that was pushing me to hold on was you—or at least, the you from where I came from… _My _Colonello… His feelings give me the courage to live, and now that I am in a world where those feelings were never casted, I don't see a reason why I should keep on existing…"

Suddenly, a blue light shone from Colonello's chest. He wiped his tears, reached to his chest pocket, and brought out the Blue Pacifier. How brightly it shone, even if it was still enclosed in his fist. Lal slowly reached for it, and placed her hands on his fist. She pulled it closer to her face, and smiled.

"Warm," she murmured with a satisfied smile. How much she wished for that warmth. Finally, it came back to her.

This warmth…

Her Colonello's warmth…

Funny she felt that way, for Colonello felt nothing but coldness from her.

"Lal, please don't give up just yet…" he begged softly, slowly opening his fist to let the small pacifier shine even more.

"This is as far as I could go… I'm sorry…"

He had to agree with her. It was too late, and not even he could do anything about it.

Tenderly, he rested his forehead onto hers, and felt her slow tepid breaths with his face. Her eyes lifted themselves back to stare unto his, but they were slowly dimming with life. If only he could stop it. If only he could do something about it. _If only… If only…_ is all he could think about.

"I realized I haven't thanked you for bringing Alauria back to me. Thank you, kora…"

She nodded.

"You did it even though you knew it will break you to see us together…"

"I'm used to it…"

"Just so you know, I wanted you to be happy then, which is why I never came after you, kora…"

"I wanted you to be happy too, so it's fine…"

Silence.

"Do you love me, Lal?" He knew it was too out-of-topic and might confuse her, but he wanted to know.

Before she fades into nothingness.

Lal stared at him confusedly, and then sighed into a smile—the same sincere smile she gave him before she left COMSUBIN.

"Of course, I do," she muttered, and then began wincing again. Colonello didn't bother crying for her for he knew that there was nothing more that anyone could do. Besides, her last words were enough for him to achieve his long-awaited redemption. He was now free; free of those abhorrent aches he had suffered for the past few years, and it was thanks to her.

Gently, he touched her lips with his. Lal didn't react like she normally did—she acted as if she felt nothing. Perhaps, she didn't. She just proceeded into closing her eyes, and as soon as she did, a lone tear trickled down his cheek.

He was grieving for her cold lips.

He was tearing for her paralyzed heart.

He was weeping for the sound of his voice, now ringing in his whole being. Crushing him. Destroying him. Eating him alive.

_Even if you don't love me, and even if I don't love you—although, I'm not saying that's possible—we're still connected in Fate and in heart. And for that reason…_

"Lal…"

…_I'll still be there for you, kora…_

Colonello had finally opened his heart through that kiss, and what he received as a message was his own voice giving away a sincere promise that seemed empty to his ears.

It was probably a promise _her _Colonello made to her.

But, Lal does not hold on to promises.

She doesn't know how to trust such ludicrous words.

Lal Mirch does not believe in Fairy Tales.

_...But I'll always believe in you…_

The light from the pacifier emphasized itself even more, and ate the image whole. When it subsided, he found that Lal was gone. All that was left was the headband she never returned to him. The headband he once clutched onto with all his life.

That belonged to him.

It was a symbol of Lal's heart, and it belonged to him.

He began to sob softly, not heeding the soft footsteps that came near him. A hand gently touched his shoulder and when he looked up, he saw his little sister smiling at him tenderly like she always did.

"Why are you crying, big brother?" she asked.

"She's gone," he whispered, clutching the piece of cloth close to his heart. "Lal Mirch is gone, kora…"

The tender smile on Eza's face slowly weakened as she looked at her brother.

"Lal?" she asked. Colonello looked back at her.

"Who's Lal, ara?"

**-m16-**

_In a world where I don't exist, there subsists a barrier; a shield of some sort. It divides reality into two parts: what have been, what could have been, and what will be. Truthfully, I found it unfortunate to acquire such an almost preposterous chance to go through this barrier, and see the different possibilities._

_One possibility is that I don't exist._

_Or rather, I chose _not _to exist._

_Wandering into that possibility drove me to my knees—not because I was dead, but because I was forgotten._

_I'm not afraid of death._

_I'm afraid of being forgotten._

_Especially by him._

_But he was the one who told me that it was our hearts and Fate itself that connected us. And because of this blissful connection caused by such a cruel creator, the barriers came crumbling down to non-existence._

_Because of this connection, there survive his feelings._

_And because of these feelings, I will exist._

_I'll live._

**-m16-**

"Lal?"

_Colonello…_

"Lal? Lal!"

_Colonello…_

"Lal, wake up, kora!"

Two burgundy eyes fluttered open to see a pair of worrying blue eyes staring haggardly at her. She tried to blink furiously; to test if the image she saw was real.

It was…

"Colonello…" Tears began to form in her eyes as she gazed upon that infant face, looking at her with so much compassion and concern that she might swell from all of it.

Said Arcobaleno just blinked warily at her. He didn't say anything just yet for he was too stunned as of the moment and so was she. So, for the next few minutes, they were just staring at each other, his arms around her body. Soon, a smile finally formed on their faces.

"You gave me quite a scare, kora," he muttered as he gently laid her down, but she quickly sprang back up just to hug him; to squeeze him and never let him go again. He was two beats off, but he hugged her back out of principle.

Truthfully, Colonello had no idea what was going on with her. All he could remember was that Lal fainted after seeing him suffer near death because of the curse. The fainting alone was already odd enough, what more after she had awoken? Lal changed, he noticed, although not as majorly as anyone else would've hoped for. She just slightly softened at him, as if she could see something else in him that he didn't. But, even if that's the case, he didn't care.

So long as Lal is fine, he's fine.

As for Lal Mirch, moving on and trying to forget what she had gone through was the hardest thing to do. Simply put, she was emotionally-scarred, which is quite unusual for someone who survived battles and worse. Perhaps it was because it concerned Colonello, the last things she expects to affect her dramatically. Well, not _that _dramatically, of course. Lal is still the Spartan Commander that the blond Italian holds dear, but, every now and then, she'd find herself tearing up, especially when Colonello smiles and tells he adores her and things like that. She still beats him up after tearing up, of course, but when it was time for them to say goodbye, she couldn't look him in the eyes.

Time can heal, that's what she told herself, and, in some time, she found it true.

She wished to have more time with him. As she watched the sun and moon rise and set again and again, she wished she could feel him next to her. Everything, she wished, she could with her most beloved by her side.

.

.

.

Her wish came true.

**-FIN-**

**Disclaimer: All of the characters used here are not mine except for Eza and Alauria. They are just OC's. **

**Okay, now I'm gonna rant :)**

**First of all, sorry I've been a no-show for a long time. It's just that I've been so traumatized from writing a research paper that everytime I get face-to-face with Microsoft Word, all I want to do is cite and cry at the same time (but, hey, I aced it! Well, barely, but…). I'm also sorry if Lal or Col or both are OOC. I guess I lost my fire for a while there after some pretty harsh reviews, so, again, I am asking you with all my might, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Tell me if they are OOC unintentionally, and then tell me how they should act! So there!**

**About le fic… *sighs* Pretty hard, eh? Well, this just came out of a dream I had some time ago (sue me, but I stare at Colonello and Lal's faces before I go to bed every night), and, since it took me a while to continue this, the idea went **_**whoosh**_**~ and so, I again apologize profusely if the story seemed poorly-written or planned. And I'm also sorry if you're not going to hear much ColoLal from me for the next few days… NO I AM NOT GIVING UP ON THEM YET. I just felt like I needed a break. Please understand… :( Of course, I still take requests, and I'd be happy to do them… someday…**

'**Til then, fellow ColoLal fans! This isn't goodbye! Perchance you could see the name "Magnipisika16" in other genres, or, if I catch another plot bunny… In THIS genre! So, please DON'T stop writing, guys! I read every update of ColoLal fics, and, gosh, WE NEED TO ACCELERATE!**

**Long live ColoLal, minna-san! Maggie is out, peace!**

**Please review, guys!**

**LoveLots~**

**PS: Seriously, I'm not giving up on them. COLOLAL FOREVER~~~~~~~~~**


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